Yes or No

"Yes" or "No" - Spencer Johnson
The Guide to Better Decisions

A better decision is one that makes us feel better, and gets better results. Decision is mine. If I make better decision, I am heading towards a better direction. Better decision makes my life happier and more successful throughout my life. I am in a life is largely the result of all the choices I've made. These choices impact my future.

Steps to make a better decision:
1) First stop proceeding with a poor decision - If you want a hot cup of tea, you must first empty your cup. Pouring hot tea into a cup full of cold tea means the hot tea cannot enter the cup but rather spills over onto the saucer. First, stop doing what we know it doesn't work (stop following what was done before)

2) System to make better decision - I avoid indecision and half-decisions based on half truths. I use both parts of a reliable system to consistently make better decisions: a cool head and a warm heart. I use my HEAD by asking myself a practical question and I consult my HEART by asking myself a private question. Then, after I listen to myself and act on it.

ASK YOUR HEAD
"Am I meeting the Real NEED, informing myself of OPTIONS, and THINKING it through?"

1) The Real Need - a need is a necessity. A want is a wish and it is nice to have. If you know what you need, it is easier to make a better decision.

Pursuing only the real need in the very beginning gets me better results in the end. This means both seeing a vision of needed results in such real detail that I sense myself already achieving them, and then doing only what meets the real need.

Wants are wishes. Needs are necessities. Needs are essential for success and fulfillment. To see what I merely want, I ask, "What do I want to do now?" To see what is really needed, I ask, "What would I like to have done?"

What I really need from this decision? For me and for others to feel successful & fulfilled? Is my vision clearly focused on the needed results? Am I saying "Yes" to only what meets the real need, and "No" to everything else?

Am I meeting the real need?

I use my head by asking myself a practical question : "Am I meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through?"

Yes or No.

It takes less time to make a better decision than it does to correct a poor decision.

One of the options we have is we do have options. When you say you have no other choice, means you are not aware of your options. How do we become aware - by asking questions and gather needed information (information you need to know to make a better decision). It would be wiser to make our own observations, talk to people yourself - validate the information yourself. By gathering information, you become less naive and more realistically informed. You begin to see more reality. You become more aware of your options.

There are two kind of information - information nice to have, and information that you need to have.

Which option is the best - meet the real need.

When one stop feeling sorry about himself and saw the reality of other possibilities, he realized he could develop a variety options, and he can be better (The reality was that these and other options were always there).

Informing Myself of Options : A Summary
First, I realize I probably have several options I am not aware of.
As I gather the needed information, I become more aware of my options.
I choose the option which meets the real need.
Information is a collection of facts and feelings: that is, what really is, & how people feel about it.
I gather the needed information, I observe it, or if someone gives me the information , I verify it.
Do I have the information I need? Who has it? Where is it? What is the best way to get it? Have I verified it myself?
As I gather the needed information, what do I see my options are? Am I informing Myself of Options?
I use my head by asking myself a practical question:
Am I meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through? Yes or No

Thinking it through - like a cheese player - thinks several moves ahead. We can imagine any situation we might find ourselves in and simply ask, "Then what would probably happen? Then what? Then what? until we think the situation through."

Before I make my decision, it could be useful to take each of my options and ask, "Then what would happen? Then what?"

Our lives are shaped by decision which we do not think are all that important at the time. But our decisions work like dominoes. The results of one decision can affect the next decision - more than ew realize - and we need to respect this.

Thinking It Through : A Summary
My past decisions are my own best mentors. Looking at them realistically can teach me more than any person to avoid illusion and see reality.
As I look at my results, I am not too hard on myself. I lighten up. I did the best I knew now.
Now I get better results because I focus on meeting the real need, informing myself of options, and thinking things through to a better result.
To see how good my results are, I measure them against my meeting the real need.

What would the results have to be to fill the real need? If I act on my decision, What would probably happen? Then what? Then what? What do I fear would be the worst result? What would the best result be? What would I ddo in the worst/best case? How clearly do I forsee the most likely results? For me? For others? How I Thought It Through?
I use my head by asking myself a practical question:
Am I Meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through? Yes or No


To make a far better decision, you have to ask you head and your heart.

The better answers, the ones that more easily get better results, are invariably simple (Simle is all that is needed and nothing more). Once you discover the simple answer, it becomes the obvious answer. Making a better decision often depends on seeing, at the time, what becomes obvious to you later.

Why does asking myself questions help me so much? Because questions propel us to find answers. We often make poor decisions because we did not first ask ourselves a few simple questions.

"Questions are like alarm clocks, Questions wake us up."

Every effective decision we have ever made has been based on reality. Our ineffective decisions are based on illusions we believe at the time. The questions shine a light on the illusion.

There are two halves in you - your head and your heart. Head - the thinking half in your head, and the feeling half in your heart. - to meet our character. Our character is our collection of personal beliefs and how we act on them. Our beliefs are a private matter. Your practical decisions are mirrors of your personal thoughts, feelings, and beliefs on display for everyone to see. They clearly reveal the way you view the world and yourself.

My decision reveal my beliefs.

The private question concerns your personal beliefs about:
1) Your integrity - people who have integrity won't fool themselves about a situation. They will cut through the nonsense and get to the true core of things quickly.
2) Your intuition - people won't look to others to make their tough decisions. They can depend on themselves.
3) Your insight into your own worth

The private question you can ask yourself is
"Does my decision show I am honest with myself, trust my intuition, and deserve better?"

Reality is whatever really is. "Truth" is a description of reality - mine or somebody else's. Integrity is telling myself the truth. And "honesty" is telling the truth to other people.

My ego holds on to my illusions. I could put my ego aside for the moment.

When we make our decision is as important as what we decide to do. In this day and age, we all need to make better decisions sooner.

The sooner I see the truth, the sooner I make a better decision.

My Integrity : A Summary
My poor decisions were based on illusion I believed at the time. My better decisions are based on realities I recongize in time.
The sooner I see the truth, the sooner I make a better decision. To find the truth, I look for it.
The better decision is based on the simple answer as it actually becomes the obvious answer.
To discover the truth, I look for the fiction I want to believe is true but cannot really count in.
We see each other's mistakes more easily, so i often park my ego & ask others what they can see and then I notice what really feels true to me.
Have I looked closely enough at my past decisions to learn from them? Have I done a reality check by observing what is really going on around me and within me? Have I noticed the obvious? Do I see the truth? Am I telling myself the Truth?
I consult my heart by asking myself a private question:
Does my decision show I am honest with myself, Trust my Intuition, and Deserve Better? Yes or No

Your own intuition is your own unconscious knowledge based on your own personal experiences. It's what you somehow sense is right for you. You can learn by looking back at how you made your past decisions. Recall what you sensed at the time you were making a specific decision. Then look at consequences.

Intuition includes not only what you feel about the decision you make, but also what you sense about the way you arrive at your decision.

If you see a situation as complicated (you cannot distinguish one part from the other) you will remain lost. If you see it as complex (there are many parts to the problem) and analyze the many parts, you will find several simple, obvious answers. Put them all together and you will have your solution.

My Intuition : A Summary
The more I use my intuition to look at how I feel about how I am making my decision, the more I protect myself from making costly mistakes.
How I feel about how I make a decision often forecasts my results.
I will not make my decision based on fear, as fear has never brought me very good results.
I may make a much better decision when I guided not by ego but my "Better Guide".

The Present

The Present - Spencer Johnson (The Gift that makes you Happy and Successful at Work and in Life)

Success is progressing toward whatever you think is important. It may be good grades in school, doing well in sports, having a good relationship with parents, getting a good part time job after school, and then getting a raise in job, enjoy life and appreciate what you have.

Success is something we all define for ourselves at different stages of our lives.

I feel good when I loved what I was doing and I keep focus on what I am doing.

The Present is a gift you give to yourself. Only you have the power to discover what it is. No one can find the Present for someone else.

In order to find The Present for yourself, think of the times when you were the happiest, and most successful.

The Present is not the Past and it is not the Future. The Present is The Present Moment! The Present is NOW!

Being in the Present means focusing on what is happening right now! It means appreciating the gifts you are offered every day. You are aware and focus on whatever you are doing. When you are in the Present, you feel happy and successful.

Even in the Most difficult situations, when you focus on what is Right. In the Present Moment, it makes you Happier, and gives you the Needed energy and confidence to deal with what is wrong.

Most situations are a mix of good and bad, right and wrong. It depends on how you look at them. The more you look at what is wrong, the less energy and confidence you have. That's why when you find yourself in a 'bad' situation, it is important to look for what is right, even if it is hard to find. Then appreciate it and build on it. The more you appreciate what is right at the moment, the happier you are. You become more relaxed, and it is easier then to stay in The Present.

What if the Present is very painful, like experiencing the loss of a loved one? Pain is the difference between what is, and what you want it to be. Pain in the Present, like everything else, is constantly changing. It will come and go. When you stay fully in the Present and have felt the pain, and feel drained by it, you can begin to look for what is right, and build on it.

It is important to experience painful situations and learn from them rather than try to distract yourself with something else. Even in difficult situations, I need to tune out the unimportant distractions that keep me from being in The Present.

In a relationship, you need to focus on the whole person. By being more aware of their 'good' or 'bad' qualities, you can address potential problems, instead of being side-tracked by them.

Focus on what is happening at the moment. Appreciate what is right about the situation, and build on it. Pay attention to what is important NOW.

It is Hard to Let go of the Past if you have not learned from the Past. As soon as you learn and let go, you improve the Present. You must not live in the Past but it is important to use the Past to learn from your mistakes.

Anytime you are unhappy in the Present or feeling unsuccessful, it is time to learn from the Past or Plan for the Future.

There are tow things can rob you of the joy of the Present: your negative thoughts about the Past, or your negative thoughts about the Future.

Learn from the Past:
- What happened in the past?
- What did I learn from it?
- What can I do differently now (to have better result)?

Use what you learn to improve the Present.

If you behave in the same way, you get the same results. But when you behave differently, you get different results. The more you learn from the Past, the fewer regrets you have. And the more time you have in the Present.

You cannot change the Past, but you can learn from it. When the same situation arises, you can do things differently and enjoy a more successful Present.

Living in the Future makes us anxious because we are not sure what will happen. The only way to make the Future better than the Present, other than to get lucky, is to plan for it. Planning for the Future reduces fear and uncertainty, because you are actively taking steps toward future success. You know what you are doing and why you are doing it. Once you have prepared for the Future, you can enjoy the Present with less anxiety.

Planning takes much of the guesswork out of what you need to do each day. You have a road map. It lets you focus on what you need to do in the Present to help bring about the Future you want.

No one can predict accurately or have a full control the Future. However, the more you Plan for what you want to see happen, the less anxious you are in the Present, and the more the Future is know to you. A lack of planning, both at work and in our lives, is the most common reason we fall short of our dreams and our goals.

3 best ways to think about the Future:
1. What would a wonderful future be like?
2. What are my plans to make it happen?
3. What am I doing today to make it happen?

The more you visualize your future, and believe it is possible to achieve, the easier it is for you to create your plan. And once you have a plan, you need to continually revise it as you gather more information and experience, so that the plan becomes more realistic. The next step is to do something every day to help make the wonderful future happen.

Living in the Present, learning from the Past, and planning for the Future. It is only when you Live with Purpose and respond to what's important about the Present, Past and Future, that it all has meaning.

Living with Purpose means not just knowing what to do, but why. Working and living with purpose is not some grand scheme or life plan. It is a practical approach for everyday life. It means rising each day and seeing what meaning it will hold for you and others as a result of your actions.

How you respond depends upon your Purpose (Value). When you want to be happy and more successful, it is time to be in the Present Moment. When you want the Present to be better than the Past, it is time to learn from the Past. When you want the Future to be better than the Present, it is time to plan for the Future.

When you live and work with Purpose, and respond to what is important NOW, you are more able to lead, manage, support, befriend and love.

Success is becoming who you are capable of being and progressing towards worthwhile goals. Each of us defines for ourselves what it means to be successful.

THREE WAYS TO USE YOUR PRESENT MOMENTS
Be in the Present
When you want to be happy and successful
Focus on what is right NOW
Use your Purpose to respond
to what is important NOW

Learn from the Past
when you want to make the present better than the Past
Look at what happened in the Past
Learn something valuable from it
Do things differently in the Present

Plan for the Future
when you want to make the Future better than the Present
See what a wonderful Future would look like
make Plans to help it happen
Put your plan into action in the Present.