Yes or No

"Yes" or "No" - Spencer Johnson
The Guide to Better Decisions

A better decision is one that makes us feel better, and gets better results. Decision is mine. If I make better decision, I am heading towards a better direction. Better decision makes my life happier and more successful throughout my life. I am in a life is largely the result of all the choices I've made. These choices impact my future.

Steps to make a better decision:
1) First stop proceeding with a poor decision - If you want a hot cup of tea, you must first empty your cup. Pouring hot tea into a cup full of cold tea means the hot tea cannot enter the cup but rather spills over onto the saucer. First, stop doing what we know it doesn't work (stop following what was done before)

2) System to make better decision - I avoid indecision and half-decisions based on half truths. I use both parts of a reliable system to consistently make better decisions: a cool head and a warm heart. I use my HEAD by asking myself a practical question and I consult my HEART by asking myself a private question. Then, after I listen to myself and act on it.

ASK YOUR HEAD
"Am I meeting the Real NEED, informing myself of OPTIONS, and THINKING it through?"

1) The Real Need - a need is a necessity. A want is a wish and it is nice to have. If you know what you need, it is easier to make a better decision.

Pursuing only the real need in the very beginning gets me better results in the end. This means both seeing a vision of needed results in such real detail that I sense myself already achieving them, and then doing only what meets the real need.

Wants are wishes. Needs are necessities. Needs are essential for success and fulfillment. To see what I merely want, I ask, "What do I want to do now?" To see what is really needed, I ask, "What would I like to have done?"

What I really need from this decision? For me and for others to feel successful & fulfilled? Is my vision clearly focused on the needed results? Am I saying "Yes" to only what meets the real need, and "No" to everything else?

Am I meeting the real need?

I use my head by asking myself a practical question : "Am I meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through?"

Yes or No.

It takes less time to make a better decision than it does to correct a poor decision.

One of the options we have is we do have options. When you say you have no other choice, means you are not aware of your options. How do we become aware - by asking questions and gather needed information (information you need to know to make a better decision). It would be wiser to make our own observations, talk to people yourself - validate the information yourself. By gathering information, you become less naive and more realistically informed. You begin to see more reality. You become more aware of your options.

There are two kind of information - information nice to have, and information that you need to have.

Which option is the best - meet the real need.

When one stop feeling sorry about himself and saw the reality of other possibilities, he realized he could develop a variety options, and he can be better (The reality was that these and other options were always there).

Informing Myself of Options : A Summary
First, I realize I probably have several options I am not aware of.
As I gather the needed information, I become more aware of my options.
I choose the option which meets the real need.
Information is a collection of facts and feelings: that is, what really is, & how people feel about it.
I gather the needed information, I observe it, or if someone gives me the information , I verify it.
Do I have the information I need? Who has it? Where is it? What is the best way to get it? Have I verified it myself?
As I gather the needed information, what do I see my options are? Am I informing Myself of Options?
I use my head by asking myself a practical question:
Am I meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through? Yes or No

Thinking it through - like a cheese player - thinks several moves ahead. We can imagine any situation we might find ourselves in and simply ask, "Then what would probably happen? Then what? Then what? until we think the situation through."

Before I make my decision, it could be useful to take each of my options and ask, "Then what would happen? Then what?"

Our lives are shaped by decision which we do not think are all that important at the time. But our decisions work like dominoes. The results of one decision can affect the next decision - more than ew realize - and we need to respect this.

Thinking It Through : A Summary
My past decisions are my own best mentors. Looking at them realistically can teach me more than any person to avoid illusion and see reality.
As I look at my results, I am not too hard on myself. I lighten up. I did the best I knew now.
Now I get better results because I focus on meeting the real need, informing myself of options, and thinking things through to a better result.
To see how good my results are, I measure them against my meeting the real need.

What would the results have to be to fill the real need? If I act on my decision, What would probably happen? Then what? Then what? What do I fear would be the worst result? What would the best result be? What would I ddo in the worst/best case? How clearly do I forsee the most likely results? For me? For others? How I Thought It Through?
I use my head by asking myself a practical question:
Am I Meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through? Yes or No


To make a far better decision, you have to ask you head and your heart.

The better answers, the ones that more easily get better results, are invariably simple (Simle is all that is needed and nothing more). Once you discover the simple answer, it becomes the obvious answer. Making a better decision often depends on seeing, at the time, what becomes obvious to you later.

Why does asking myself questions help me so much? Because questions propel us to find answers. We often make poor decisions because we did not first ask ourselves a few simple questions.

"Questions are like alarm clocks, Questions wake us up."

Every effective decision we have ever made has been based on reality. Our ineffective decisions are based on illusions we believe at the time. The questions shine a light on the illusion.

There are two halves in you - your head and your heart. Head - the thinking half in your head, and the feeling half in your heart. - to meet our character. Our character is our collection of personal beliefs and how we act on them. Our beliefs are a private matter. Your practical decisions are mirrors of your personal thoughts, feelings, and beliefs on display for everyone to see. They clearly reveal the way you view the world and yourself.

My decision reveal my beliefs.

The private question concerns your personal beliefs about:
1) Your integrity - people who have integrity won't fool themselves about a situation. They will cut through the nonsense and get to the true core of things quickly.
2) Your intuition - people won't look to others to make their tough decisions. They can depend on themselves.
3) Your insight into your own worth

The private question you can ask yourself is
"Does my decision show I am honest with myself, trust my intuition, and deserve better?"

Reality is whatever really is. "Truth" is a description of reality - mine or somebody else's. Integrity is telling myself the truth. And "honesty" is telling the truth to other people.

My ego holds on to my illusions. I could put my ego aside for the moment.

When we make our decision is as important as what we decide to do. In this day and age, we all need to make better decisions sooner.

The sooner I see the truth, the sooner I make a better decision.

My Integrity : A Summary
My poor decisions were based on illusion I believed at the time. My better decisions are based on realities I recongize in time.
The sooner I see the truth, the sooner I make a better decision. To find the truth, I look for it.
The better decision is based on the simple answer as it actually becomes the obvious answer.
To discover the truth, I look for the fiction I want to believe is true but cannot really count in.
We see each other's mistakes more easily, so i often park my ego & ask others what they can see and then I notice what really feels true to me.
Have I looked closely enough at my past decisions to learn from them? Have I done a reality check by observing what is really going on around me and within me? Have I noticed the obvious? Do I see the truth? Am I telling myself the Truth?
I consult my heart by asking myself a private question:
Does my decision show I am honest with myself, Trust my Intuition, and Deserve Better? Yes or No

Your own intuition is your own unconscious knowledge based on your own personal experiences. It's what you somehow sense is right for you. You can learn by looking back at how you made your past decisions. Recall what you sensed at the time you were making a specific decision. Then look at consequences.

Intuition includes not only what you feel about the decision you make, but also what you sense about the way you arrive at your decision.

If you see a situation as complicated (you cannot distinguish one part from the other) you will remain lost. If you see it as complex (there are many parts to the problem) and analyze the many parts, you will find several simple, obvious answers. Put them all together and you will have your solution.

My Intuition : A Summary
The more I use my intuition to look at how I feel about how I am making my decision, the more I protect myself from making costly mistakes.
How I feel about how I make a decision often forecasts my results.
I will not make my decision based on fear, as fear has never brought me very good results.
I may make a much better decision when I guided not by ego but my "Better Guide".